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Dennis Miller was the seemingly oddly-matched host for the night’s three hour extravaganza, coming to us live from Corpus Christi, Texas. Miller came out to virtually zero pop but he ran with it, making fun of his surprise at the pyrotechnics. His shtick did not go over well with the crowd at all. He plugged USA Cares, his charitable organization and thanked the troops. He brought out R Truth and Jillian Hall to present the first Slammy of the night, for tag team of the year. Jillian performed “Whoomp, There It Is” until Truth stopped her. The winners were JeriShow, who beat out Legacy, The Hart Dynasty, and DX. Y2J and Show came out to boos and chants of “DX, DX, DX!” Show took the mic to reassure the crowd that he and Jericho will remain partners, and Jericho invoked their rematch clause- tonight!
We came back from commercial with the Ruthless Roundtable in the ring and William Regal on the mic. Regal challenged Christian to find two challengers for a match, and the ECW champion came out with his partners- Kane and The Great Khali! Khali hit Kozlov with a monster chop to the head and that was all she wrote! Miller was then on the mic again. He introduced Tiffany and Teddy Long, who presented the Breakout Star of the Year award. The candidates were Drew McIntyre, Sheamus, Yoshi Tatsu and Abraham Washington. Sheamus won, and came out to a hail of boos. He ragged on Cena, predictably.
The next match was Cody Rhodes vs. Kofi Kingston, who sported a bandaged shoulder from Randy’s punt at TLC. Kofi hit an early Boom Drop, but then Ted DiBiase interfered, only to have Evan Bourne save Kofi’s hide…Dennis Miller then restarted the match as a tag team challenge!
We returned from the break with the teams in the middle of the action. Cody hit the Crossroads on Bourne to win after a short, frantically paced match.
Another commercial ran and Miller was in the pulpit again. He made a joke about the sophistication of the crowd which actually went over pretty well. He introduced Vickie Guerrero and Santino Morella, who presented the Slammy for the Shocker of the year. Competition was between Randy DDT’ing and kissing Stephanie in front of HHH, Batista’s heel turn, Punk retiring Jeff Hardy and Sheamus putting Mark Cuban through a table! Punk won!
After another commercial Punk cut a short promo in the ring until Cena came out for their match. Cena made Punk tap in short order when he countered a Go To Sleep with an STFU! This qualified Cena for the Superstar of the year match later tonight. He got on the mic to apologize for letting everyone down at TLC and said that he won’t lose another match until he becomes WWE Champion once again!
After another commercial Miller announced Triple H, who presented the award for Match of the Year, the contenders being HBK and Taker at Wrestlemania,
Hardy vs. Edge at Extreme Rules, the Raw vs. Smackdown tag at Bragging Rights, and John Cena vs. Randy Orton at Breaking Point.
HBK/ Taker rightfully won, and HBK challenged the Deadman to a rematch!
Undertaker and RKO had their match next. Legacy came down the ramp to interfere but Taker stared them down, however, the distraction allowed Randy to hit Taker with the RKO and roll back into the ring for the win! After the match Legacy came down to put the boots to Taker but he tossed them from the ring and delivered a huge Chokeslam to Randy!
Miller again, this time introducing Vince McMahon to present the award for Best RAW Guest Host. Bob Barker, Seth Green, Shaq and Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne were in the running, and Barker won! A canned acceptance speech ran. McMahon asked Miller who he would name as guest host and he suggested Brett Hart, to which the crowd roared their approval.
Miller was backstage next with Chris Jericho, who set Miller up for one of his trademark rants- against Y2J! Then DX hit the ring to defend their titles against JeriShow! Y2J was heavily taped up, a signal of last night’s brutality. Triple H pushed the ref over a kneeling HBK, causing a disqualification- but allowing them to retain the belts! Shawn “admonished” him for losing the match but HHH told Jericho that was their one rematch! They ran him out with the help of several jobbier members of the roster dressed in DX gear.
We were back to the Slammys next, with Carlito, Eve Torres and Chris Masters presenting the Slammy for the Extreme Moment of the Year. Candidates included Kofi’s Boom Drop on Randy, Big Show tossing Cena through a searchlight, Hardy’s Swanton off the 25 foot ladder, and HHH invading Randy Orton’s home. Hardy’s insane dive won and Matt came out to accept the award. Carlito blindsided Matt and stole the award for himself! However, Eve grabbed it back, Masters slapped on the Masterlock, and Matt took the trophy back for his brother!
A trailer for The Marine 2 ran, and then Drew McIntyre met up with The Miz and Zack Ryder. They took on John Morrison with Yoshi Tatsu and Mark Henry. Tatsu scored a huge kick to Ryder’s face to get a quick win for the faces.
Next up was a 7 on 7 Diva match. Mickie James, Melina, Maria, Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim and the Bellas took on Michelle McCcool, Layla, Rosa Mendes, Natalya, Beth Phoenix, Maryse and Alicia Fox. It was a more boring match than usual as all of the Divas had evening wear on. After the faces won, MVP and Golddust presented Maria with the Slammy for Diva of the year. However, Batista crashed the stage to complain about getting screwed at TLC- however, a few state troopers came out and escorted him away.
Miller then introduced Abraham Washington, Tony Atlas and Big Dick Johnson, who presented the Slammy for Oh, My Moment of the year. Beating out Chris Masters’ pecs, HBK delivering the SCM to a little girl, and Santino taking pie after pie backstage at Thanksgiving was Michael Cole puking on Jericho’s shoes at the 10th Anniversary of Smackdown party.
Miller got on the stick again and plugged USA Cares again. Then we got the main event- after a DX merchandise plug that also featured Hornswoggle. Cena vs. Orton kicked off…again. Cena hit the Attitude Adjustment to win and become Superstar of the Year! Sheamus came out and taunted Cena to close the show!
WWE TLC 2009 Results
The show kicked off live from San Antonio, Texas; the huge set featured dozens of tables, ladders and chairs suspended from wires and a bright red RAW-type lighting scheme. Very cool set! The ECW Championship was suspended over the ring, meaning the first match was to be Christian vs. Shelton Benjamin in a Ladder match! The very first spot of the night, Christian dropping the ladder onto his own face, caused the champ to immediately start bleeding, and Shelton had to improvise, struggling to set up ladders as an EMT worked to close Christian’s wound. They are really taking the TV-PG, no blood thing really, really seriously. Neither competitor disappointed, and Christian looked like he may have been concussed, as he sported a dazed look and was moving a little more slowly than usual. The match ended with Christian ascending the ladder to claim his title, after hitting the Fulcrum to knock Benjamin onto a ladder that was set up between the announce table and the ring apron, and then driving him through the ladder to snap it in half after jumping off the top of the turnbuckle.
The next match was for the Intercontinental Championship, with John Morrison taking on Drew McIntyre. It was a great, high energy match that did a great job calming the crowd back down after the opening craziness, and McIntyre won when he hit the Friday Night Delight with a nasty-looking double arm DDT.
After that came the Women’s Championship match, relatively early in the night- the match featured Michelle McCool (with Layla accompanying her to ringside) taking on Mickie James. It was a typically awful women’s match but McCool retained her championship with a big kick.
The next match was for the WWE Championship and featured Cena taking on Sheamus. They had a decent match- inasmuch as a tables match can be decent. Cena actually downed Sheamus on the ramp and swung a huge table at him like swinging a sledgehammer in a carnival game- must’ve stung when he missed. The finish of the match was exceedingly weird, with Cena ostensibly setting up Sheamus for a huge suplex off the top rope and through a table in the center of the ring. However, the both seemingly stopped fighting and Sheamus very lightly nudged Cena, who went flying 6 feet to the center of the ring to crash through the table, making Sheamus the new WWE Champion! Cena took a piece of the splintered table with him to the back as the crowd looked on in stunned silence.
Next up was the World Heavyweight Championship match; a chairs match that featured Batista and the Undertaker clobbering each other with steel chairs. Batista appeared to have won when he pinned Undertaker after hitting him with a blatant low blow, however, Teddy Long came out and said that he wasn’t going to let the WHC change hands on such an obvious cheating move. The match restarted, Taker hit The Animal with a Tombstone Piledriver almost immediately, and then pinned him for the win!
The other non-gimmick-non-women’s match for the night was the Kofi Kingston/Randy Orton grudge match, which the Viper won clean, without any interference from anyone and without any cheating. Before the match, Legacy confronted Kofi, but he stormed past Ted and Cody to take it right to Randy, calling him a coward, and saying that he didn’t deserve another WWE title shot. The coolest spot of the match was RKO hitting Kofi with an absolutely brutal dropkick out of midair, and Kofi sold an arm injury from a nasty punt. Let’s hope the rumors of Kofi getting dinged with a wellness violation are untrue.
The main event was of course, up last, and featured JeriShow vs. DX. Throughout the course of the match, the two large ladders for reaching the titles were destroyed; there were only halves of the ladder left! Jericho climbed up on Show’s shoulders and tried to grab the belts but Shawn hit Sweet Chin Music and knocked Jericho to the outside- then Hunter held up the half ladder while HBK ascended it to win DX’s first tag titles ever!
Friday night Smackdown!, the go-home show to the new TLC Pay Per View, kicked off with a bang from Houston, Texas. The Animal came out to open the show to vociferous boos. He got on the mic to talk about a couple of things, the first of which is that Rey Mysterio, and not him, asked for their Street Fight match later. The next was that he doesn’t care if the crowd boos him or not, as it isn’t about them. He asked for a spotlight to help illustrate his point and of course, the crowd booed his narcissism. He talked about the Undertaker too, downplaying his strength.
After Dave was done, Luke Gallows and C.M. Punk came down to the ring to face R Truth and Matt Hardy in Gallows’ first official match. Punk cut a promo before the match, insulting the crowd as usual while subtly selling the new Jeff Hardy DVD by deriding it to the cheering crowd, who chanted Hardy’s name. He and Gallows symbolically smashed one of the DVDs and then Hardy and Truth came down to the ring, passing out copies of the Jeff Hardy DVD! Hardy hit a twist of fate but Punk’s partner made the tag and hit The 12th Step on Hardy to score a win for the new straightedge team.
Backstage GM Teddy Long was meeting with Vickie Guerrero and Eric Escobar, who were arguing in Spanish. Vickie made a match for him with Chris Jericho- NOW!
Kane ran into Mike Knox backstage in a weird scenario. They spoke of their match last week, and Knox pointed out their similarities, and asked for a rematch, which Kane granted.
Eric Escobar hit the ring to mild murmuring and Y2J followed him to the ring to begin their match. They were getting going pretty good when Vickie interrupted to tell Escobar it was a handicap match- and then the Big Show came out too! JeriShow easily won when Jericho got Escobar in the Walls of Jericho. Y2J hopped on the mic after the match to guarantee DX’s eradication at TLC.
Drew McIntyre came out to hop on the mic next. He ragged on Morrison until the Friday Night Delight came out to defend himself. He entered to bagpipe music, dressed as William Wallace! They jawed at each other for a bit until it degenerated into the inevitable fisticuffs. Morrison got the better of McIntyre, running him off and back to the back.
Kane and Mike Knox squared off next for the rematch of the hosses. Kane won again.
Mickie James and Maria had a match against Michelle McCool and Layla. The faces won when Mickie James rolled up Layla for the pin.
Main Event time was up next, with Rey Mysterio facing Batista in a Street Fight. Rey looked great early…but after the commercial Batista was whipping him with a TV cable! Mysterio battled back and hit The Animal with a steel chair several times; however, Big Dave hit Rey with a nasty Spear and then gave him a big body slam. He nailed him in the skull with the chair again for good measure and then covered his former best friend for the win. After the match he appeared ready to continue to pound Rey, but the lights went out! When they came back in Taker was in the ring, and after a quick beating Batista slunk to the back!
First out of the gate was Dolph Ziggler vs. Finlay. Ziggler won with the Zig Zag in an entertaining but ultimately meaningless match.
Then, Josh Matthews interviewed MVP, asking what he thought about his match with Jack Swagger later, and MVP put the match over and made fun of Swagger’s lisp.
Tyson Kidd and D.H. Smith were out next with Natalya, to take on Slam Master J and Jimmy Wang Yang. The Hart Dynasty won handily.
Jack Swagger got on the mic before his Main Event match with MVP to say that he, as an All American American, is a role model, unlike MVP. He went on to say that he was born this good, and poked fun at his own lisp. Swagger won the match with a Gutwrench Powerbomb after a strong showing by both of the Superstars.
ECW came at us on SyFy from Houston, Texas, just 5 days away from TLC! Josh Matthews was in the ring explaining the Ladder Match rules when Vladimir Kozlov came out and interrupted him to call out Ezekiel Jackson, who appeared to want a piece of the Russian; however, he was restrained by William Regal. Shelton Benjamin then came out and challenged him to let them fight! Regal threatened him but then Christian and Yoshi Tatsu came out to back up The Gold Standard. Benjamin challenged them to man up and take them on in a match, tonight! Tiffany came out and gave them the choice- team up, or finish what they started. The Ruthless Roundtable took a vote, and Kozlov used the deciding vote to make the 6-man tag, against Zeke’s wishes.
After the commercial Vance Archer came out to take on Tommy Dreamer- Archer’s first televised non-squash match. Archer won after a pretty evenly matched contest. Tiffany was then shown backstage interviewing Katie Lea and the hooded figure that interrupted The Hurricane on Superstars last week. Gregory Helms stuck his head in, and Tiffany told Paul Burchill (who admitted he was the Ripper) that he can have a contract if he can beat The Hurricane next week.
Zack Ryder and Eva Mendes were backstage playing kissyface until Tommy Dreamer interrupted them. Ryder told Dreamer that he used to respect him but now, he wants to be the guy that ends him.
Next up, Trent Barreta and Caylen Croft squished another pair of jobbers. A promo hyping TLC ran, and then the 6 man tag (which for some reason featured the ECW belt suspended over the ring) kicked off.
The good guys dominated the early fighting, but Regal, Jackson and Kozlov got it together after the commercial. However, Kozlov refused to tag in and appeared to leave to head for the back! Jackson chased him and once again Regal intervened, giving the good guys the countout win! After the match, Benjamin dove over the top ropes onto Jackson and Regal and Christian got the ladder from under the ring, to climb for his title. Benjamin recovered to spring from the top rope to the ladder, almost bending it in half, closing the shoe with both of them grasping the ECW title!
Mark Cuban was the guest host as RAW kicked off live from Dallas! He was introduced to a cheering crowd and came down from the crowd to get on the mic. Cena’s music hit and the WWE champ hit the ring! Surprisingly, Carlito was introduced and came to the ring. Cuban took a spot in the first row alonside Bree and Nicky Bella, and the match got underway. Cena was ready to put the 5 Moves of Doom on Carlito but Sheamus’ music hit and he came to the ramp! Cuban jumped the rail and impeded Sheamus’ progress, then a half dozen security guys backed him up. During the distraction Carlito ambushed Cena from behind but Cena recovered and hit the Attitude Adjustment for the win!
Legacy came out next with a brooding RKO leading his apprentices to the ring. Randy applauded Cuban for taking charge and asserting authority, and then once again asked the guest GM to lift his ban on championship matches while Cena is champ. Ted DiBiase grabbed the stick to threaten Cuban, reminding Cuban what happened at Survivor Series2003, when Randy delivered the RKO to the billionaire. Cuban told him to pound sand, and that he knows Orton got lucky last week against Kofi Kingston. He made a rematch for later in the night with himself as the referee! Cody jumped on the stick to threaten Cuban some more so Cuban made a match for Legacy, too- against Primo and Evan Bourne- right now!
After the break the action started. Legacy employed typical chickenshit heel tactics-double teams, cheap shots- until DiBiase hit Bourne with Dream Street for a relatively painless win. Cuban had Rhodes and DiBiase thrown out of the building by security!
A video package putting Sheamus over ran, and then special ring announcer Kelly Kelly introduced Maryse. Her opponent, Gail Kim hit the ring and the mach was underway! Maryse won when she used the ropes in the corner for leverage! Maryse grabbed the mic from Kelly Kelly to admonish her for not introducing her as the next Women’s Champion. Kelly Kelly shoved her and Maryse set on Kelly until Melina intervened on her behalf, running Maryse off!
DX was up next, cutting a cheesy and gratuitous promo for merchandise in true DX fashion. Hornswoggle made an appearance hawking HIS DX merchandise- the “World’s Littlest Member” shirt. The segment ended with Hornswoggle doing the DX chop and then running off…sigh.
ANOTHER Sheamus package ran. Then we were back to the action with Kofi Kingston facing off against Randy Orton. Predictably, Kofi won with the Backslide/quick count combination from Kingston and Cuban. He made a rubber match between the two at TLC!
Yet another Sheamus promo ran- ww get it, he’s legit- and then United States Champion the Miz came out to defend his belt against The World’s Strongest Man, Mark Henry. Miz was able to counter the World’s Strongest Slam into a DDT for the surprise win.
Then we got a mixed tag crapfest with Chavo and Jillian taking on Hornswoggle and Eve Torres. Eve and Hornswoggle scored the victory but Chavo cut the celebration short, attacking Hornswoggle and throwing him to the canvas. Chris Masters came out to defend the little guy’s honor and ended up popping his guns and teaching Chavo a lesson with the Masterlock and a slam to the mat! Eve appeared impressed with Masters’ chesticles.
The FOURTH Sheamus promo ran and then it was Y2J in a handicap match against DX. Y2J hopped on the stick to cut a mean promo with lots of big words about how many Slammys he’s going to win next week. HHH and Shawn Michaels hit the stage next, grinning and tossing glow sticks, as usual. DX worked well together to take Y2J apart but he threw the referee at The Game anf Big Show came down to tear HBK up until HHH hit him with a steel chair! Show responded in kind with a big fist, then Jericho hit HBK with a baseball slide as Michaels got a ladder out from under the ring. Show knocked them both out with the ladder and then sandwiched them in it while Y2J pounded them with a chair! Jericho ascended the ladder to hoist the belts high!
Last up was the Cena/Sheamus…verbal confrontation? as moderated by Mark Cuban. Cena answered “no comment” to all of Sheamus’ impassioned statements about their match. Sheamus threw Cuban to the floor when he attempted to get between the two and prevent a confrontation, and then kicked Cena with a cheap shot and then another. He also grabbed Cuban and kneed him in the gut after the GM managed to shove him over! As a finale, Cuban went through a table in the corner, capping Sheamus’ rampage. Sheamus left ringside once several of the Dallas Mavericks, seated at ringside, advanced on him to close the show!
WWE Smackdown!! Came at us from Hampton, Virginia. CM Punk opened the show, coming to ringside with his apparent protégé, Luke Gallows. Stryker explained that Festus was a personality brought on by addiction to prescription drugs but that Punk sponsored and saved him. His opponent, the ever gregarious R Truth rapped his way to the ring and the bell rang to start the match. Punk dominated most of the match but Truth was gaining momentum when Gallows first tripped him up and then pulled him out of the ring for a beating, which continued even after the timekeeper rang the bell for the DQ. Punk joined in on the post-match beatdown and Truth was left decimated.
Back from the commercial, and Kane hit the ring. The Big Red Machine’s opponent was the similarly huge Mike Knox. Kane won with a big chokeslam.
Josh Matthews was backstage with JeriShow asking about the handicap match on RAW. Y2J put himself and The Big Show and their TLC match at TLC over.
Next up were Layla and Michelle McCool at ringside for commentary, both sporting “Piggie James” shirts. The match was a #1 Contender’s three-way match between Mickie James, Beth Phoenix, and Natalya. They had a plodding and kind of sloppy match until Beth hit the Glam Slam on Natalya, but Mickie scored an opportunistic victory to become #1 Contender! Josh Matthews jumped into the ring for a post match interview, where she talked about Michelle McCool going too far, beyond personal. She told Michelle that she was going to shut her mouth permanently, then shoved her down and jumped Layla! They rolled her into the ring for a beating but Maria came out to even the odds, and they ran Layla and McCool out of the ring!
Big Dave Batista was backstage, telling Teddy Long that his match with Rey next week is unnecessary. Teddy told The Animal it would be a Street Fight and Batista agreed to it but complained about Teddy allowing Taker to call him out later!
Matt Hardy was backstage playing XBOX and John Morrison spoke of his match with Drew McIntyre next as he watched. The bell rang after Drew ran his mouth for a bit, and the match began. McIntyre really took it to the Intercontinental Champion, and the announcers put the newcomer over in a big way. Morrison knocked McIntyre off the side of the ring and Drew crawled under the canvas, bouncing Morrison’s skull off the steel underside of the ring when Morrison attempted to follow! He rolled a dazed Morrison into the ring and got the pin with a Kobashi DDT for the win over the Friday Night Delight!
Vickie Guerrero called out Eric Escobar in the ring next, telling him that he was going to pay for making fun of her personal hygiene last week. She told him to come to the ring and beg for an apology or he’d wake up tomorrow without a job. Escobar hit the ring and cut a promo that got the crowd on his side easily, making fun of Vickie and causing her to screech like a banshee. She said firing him would be too easy, and that tonight, next, Escobar would be taking on D.H. Smith and Tyson Kidd, The Hart Dynasty! The match started immediately. He was easily defeated in the obviously unfair handicap match, and Vickie jumped in the ring afterwards to slap Escobar around as The Hart Dynasty put the boots to him and then helped Vickie to the back.
Josh Matthews was backstage asking Luke Gallows to explain his recent actions. He and Punk kissed each other’s asses for a while in a show of mutual respect and bro love.
Cryme Tyme hit the ring next, followed by their opponents, JeriShow! JTG and Shad kept up with Jericho and Show early, until Y2J tagged Show in and he knocked Shad out cold and pinned him for the no-sweat win.
The famous “gong” hit and The Deadman came out to the usual warm reception. As he made his way down the ring, Batista attacked him from behind with a steel chair, pounding Undertaker with it repeatedly and bouncing him off the steel steps! Dave also delivered a huge Spinebuster onto a steel chair in the ring to the Phenom. Big Dave got in a shot with Taker’s Heavyweight Title belt to close the show.
Superstars kicked off with Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase hitting the ring to take on Evan Bourne and Primo Colon. Cody hit the eventual Crossroads on Primo to score the heels the win.
An Ask the Divas segment ran, and then Hurricane came down to the ring, followed by Zack Ryder with Eva Mendes. Hurricane hit a Shining Wizard and knocked Ryder out of the ring, but a hooded figure crept up from behind and clobbered him, causing the match to end in a DQ!
The RAW Rebound ran, and then it was main event time, with Matt Hardy facing Dolph Ziggler. Ziggler won when he countered the Twist of Fate with a Backslide!
Abraham Washington opened the show, with guests Zack Ryder and Rosa Mendes. He got pretty loud boos for putting poor Tony Atlas to the grinder and then ripping on Virginia. Abe asked Zack what was up between he and Rosa, and Zack read a poem he’d written for Rosa. Rosa then read one that she’d written about him! Ryder pulled a Tom Cruise, jumping up and down on Abe’s leather couch until the segment mercifully ended.
Backstage, Ezekiel Jackson was lacing up his boots when William Regal came in and apologized for last week. Zeke also apologized to Regal but refused to apologize to Kozlov, which the Russian didn’t appreciate, but Regal gave them a pep talk and things seemed okay.
After the commercial the Ruthless Roundtable made their way to the ring for Regal’s match with GoldDust. The Gold One set Regal up for the Shattered Dreams but Zeke saved his bacon from the apron. GoldDust was able to roll Regal up with the Schoolboy as Regal was distracted by Kozlov and Jackson almost coming to blows outside the ring!
Then we were backstage with Paul Burchill and Katie Lea were backstage with GM Tiffany, trying to save their jobs, but she rebuffed them and welcomed a new tag team into her office- Trent Barreta and Caylen Croft, who wouldn’t let her get a word in edgewise. After the commercial, they squashed some jobbers.
Backstage in an interview segment, Vance Archer told her that he knows he’s destined to be on top, so he’s going to take his time and savor getting there.
The Smackdown! Rebound ran.
Shelton Benjamin was backstage playing XBOX when Christian walked in and they agreed to have each other’s backs tonight.
Main Event time, with Christian and The Gold Standard taking on Vladimir Kozlov and Ezekiel Jackson, who were of course accompanied to ringside by William Regal. Benjamin hit Pay Dirt on Kozlov for the win as Jackson stormed to the back in the middle of the match, irritated that Kozlov had tagged himself in!
RAW kicked off with a bang, live from Baltimore, Maryland, with special guest GM Verne Troyer!
JeriShow came out to start the show, dressed in suits and carrying their Unified Tag Team Championships. Y2J got on the mic first to “clear up some misconceptions” about DX. A montage of still photos recounting Jerishow’s recent run of victories, and reminding the crowd that DX has never been tag champs ran on the TitanTron. Big Show ran down some other facts, reminding the crowd of his accomplishments, and Jericho talked some more, putting the TLC match over. The crowd chanted rabidly for DX until their music hit and HHH and HBK hit the ring! Hunter called them both out for boring the crowd to death, and Shawn said that they’d win at TLC AND as an added bonus, Jericho is gone from RAW if he loses, as he’s only on RAW by virtue of holding the unified titles. Hunter challenged Jericho to a match later in the evening, which he accepted- after Show whispered in his ear- on one condition- if Y2J loses, next week it’ll be Y2J vs. DX in a handicap match, but if he wins, its Hunter vs. JeriShow in a handicap match instead!
A recap of last week’s Diva match ran, complete with Maryse returning, disguised as The Gobbledeygooker. Melina and Gail Kim came out, and then Josh Matthews asked Maryse backstage what her problem is with Melina. Maryse and Jillian then hit the ring for a quick tag match featuring Maryse drilling Melina with a DDT and pinning her to score the win!
Next up was Sheamus, who grabbed the mic amidst a smattering of boos to say that all he has to do to beat Cena is put him through a table, even though he could pin him or make him submit if he wanted to. His opponent, Santino Morella came out, and cracked wise about Sheamus’ paleness. Sheamus put an end to that with a right cross and then put the boots to Morella, culminating with the Pale One driving Morella through a table in the corner oif the ring.
JeriShow ran into Verne Troyer backstage and Jericho took umbrage to Troyer shaking Show’s hand but ignoring him.
We came back from commercial with Verne Troyer holding court with a mic at the top of the entrance ramp. He called The Miz out but was interrupted by…The Miz! He got some cheap heat making fun of Troyer’s height and doing a Dr. Evil impression. Miz threatened to kick a field goal with Troyer using the ring posts as goal posts, but Mark Henry came out to shut him up. He kept running his mouth, though, so Verne made them a match!
Next up was Kingston vs. Orton. Kofi’s music hit first but Cody Rhodes jumped him on the way down the ramp, driving Kofi into the steel stairs! Kofi sucked it up and pulled himself into the ring. RKO’s music hit but Ted DiBiase ambushed Kofi from behind to continue the vicious attack! Kofi pulled himself together once again and told the ref to start the match! Randy’s music hit again and this time he came out. Orton worked Kofi over for a while until Kofi battled back, but the Viper struck with a lightning-quick RKO to score the cheap win. After the match was over Randy added some extra punishment in the form of a face plant off the top rope.
Verne and MVP were playing the WWE game backstage when Mark Henry and Jillian walked in. Jillian asked to sing a song, Mark begged him not to let her, but MVP asked her to sing so that Mark could show off his stuff, which he did, until he fell- right onto Jillian Hall, squishing her like a pancake!
John Cena pulled up at the loading dock and we went to commercial.
We came back from commercial and Cena unsurprisingly hit the ring to cut his promo. He was in serious Cena mode, talking about Sheamus, and told us that if he loses to Sheamus, he gets his rematch at TLC, as he’ll be taking on The Pale One for the WWE Title- tonight! However, Carlito’s music hit and he came to the ring instead! He told Cena that there is a locker room full of people that are tired of his hogging the spotlight. He said that Sheamus represents all oif them and that at TLC, Cena’s reign over the WWE is over. Cena, still in super serious mode, challenged Carlito to step up and take him down! Carlito chomped on his apple but as he went for the spit Cena gave him the Attitude Adjustment and tossed him out of the ring. Sheamus came out and Cena tried to draw him into a fight, but he got halfway down the ramp and retreated instead.
Back from commercial and Troyer’s out again! He introduced MVP and Mark Henry. MVP got on the mic to hype Mark Henry and told the crowd that they had a surprise planned- Mizzark on the mic! Henry cut a terrible, terrible TERRIBLE rap as Troyer clapped along, as confused as the crowd. Truly bizarre.
They (MVP and Henry) had their match, which Henry won in short order with the World’s Strongest Slam after catching The Miz in midair. Troyer brought out Eve Torres, Kelly Kelly and Brie and Nicky Bella to awkwardly celebrate on the ramp.
Mark Cuban was announced as next week’s host, and then we saw DX backstage talking about Hornswoggle summoning them to little people’s court. Hornswoggle showed up and they left, then Verne showed up and advised Hornswoggle to sue DX for everything they’ve got!
First Jericho and then HHH hit the ring for the main event. The bell rang and the match started as HBK strapped on a headset to do commentary. Big Show came out and distracted HHH, allowing Y2J to hit him from behind! We came back from commercial and Show was also doing commentary. They had a great match featuring counter after counter, until Show began to stroll toward the ring, laying out Shawn on the way and then HHH! As the ref ejected Show from ringside, HBK hit Sweet Chin Music on Y2J and got himself ejected also for his trouble! After several counter finishers back and forth Hunter rolled him up for the pin and the win!
HBK reminded Jericho that next week is his last on RAW and that was the show!
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